20 QUESTIONS

1 If you could look like anyone else, who would it be?
  Marv from Sin City. Or Dwight, at a push, and as long as I got the Converse.
2 What did you last eat and when?
  Leftover Spaghetti Bolognese sauce on toast, three hours ago for breakfast
3 What was the last thing you were doing before you starting doing this?
  Listening to the new Slaughterhouse record.
4 You are a puppy, what breed are you and why?
  I’d like to be a bit of a mongrel pup – nice mix of everything, no real heritage but still outrageously cute and loved by ladies everywhere.
5 What's your favourite website?
  www.robboffard.com
6 What would you save first in a fire?
  The beer
7 Whom would you stalk?
  Scarlett Johannson. No question.
8 Which monopoly playing piece are you and why?
  I’m the shoe. Because Tank Girl is too.
9 What's your favourite item of clothing?
  I have a black T made out of some weird nylon material. It’s ten years old, looks brand new and is the most comfortable thing I own.
10 Boiled sprouts, cabbage or spinach?
  Beer.
11 If you weren't called what you are called, what would you like to be called?
  Bobby McAwesomestein. Or Buck McDanger.
12 All time classic film?
  Shawshank Redemption
13 And all time worst film?
  Knowing
14 Favourite smell?
  I have no sense of smell, thanks to falling out a tree in Zimbabwe age four and not breathing for two minutes. Caused minor brain damage, though my taste is fine. True story.
15 Favourite colour?
  Red
16 Perfect night in?
  Me, girlfriend, PS3, brand new game, pizza, beer.
17 Perfect night out?
  Front row of a rap gig, screaming my ass off.
18 Who's top of your Christmas card list?
  My girlfriend (who is standing over my shoulder as I write this and will kill me if I say different).
19 And who's out in the cold?
  Jacob Zuma
20 Describe yourself using three words...
  What the f*ck?